i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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