He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
