i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He's on the porch naked. Help.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
