like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
