if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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