Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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