discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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