i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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