You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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