Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
