Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
