its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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