Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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