are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
