He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
