..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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