i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You left your phone here
Wait...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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