Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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