One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
