I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
