I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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