how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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