i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
