only if we run a train.
done.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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