Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
