there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
