there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
