I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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