6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
