What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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