Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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