Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
