Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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