Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
