Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
