I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
