i don't like sucking hair
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
