I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
