im about as happy as oj after his trial
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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