You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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