Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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