i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
