you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
