I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
