I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
