he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
