is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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