Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize