I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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