if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
