Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
