Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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