Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
