Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I intend to get homeless drunk
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
