Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
