hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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