I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
