TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize