dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
